When Landon was 10 days old, Brady moved down to Texas to start school. We would follow him 5 weeks later, but for those few weeks it was just me and Landon. Mostly we did important things like watch all the current seasons of Lost (Is anyone else as excited about tonight as I am?!?)--but I was reminded recently of my first night at home alone with him.
I felt alone. I felt overwhelmed. My mom had left; my husband had left. I was running on months of little to no sleep, and there was this baby who required everything that I had left. As I got Landon in his teeny-tiny pajamas, the responsibility of motherhood suddenly hit me. Not just the feeding, bathing, and caring--all the things I was supposed to teach him. This perfect little creature deserved a mother far better than anything I could ever be.
And so like all post-partum mothers do--I cried.
But then I prayed.
I pleaded with my Father in Heaven that somehow He would help me make up the huge deficit I was feeling. I asked Him to feel peace and comfort even though I was alone at the time.
It was then that a thought occured to me: Why don't you sing to Landon and then say prayers with him like your own mother wisely did?
I decided this was a fantastic idea.
As I finished dressing him and swaddling him, I contemplated about what song I would sing to Landon. This would be the first song I ever sang to him--it needed to have meaning.
I held him while I sat in bed and started to sing:
Oh, how lovely was the morning! Radiant beamed the sun above...
(for the full song, click here)
I couldn't even get through the first few lines of the song when I was overcome with the truthfulness of its words. Although I had already received an answer about the truthfulness of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints years before, I was receiving it again.
And I suddenly knew what my most important job as a mother would be--to help Landon feel the same joy that the Gospel has brought to my own life.
Recently I've been thinking about how to make my own scripture study a little more focused. I was reminded of a friend who read and marked a copy of the Book of Mormon for each of her children, and then planned to give it to them years later. I felt a little silly, since my son is only 20 months old, but ultimately I decided to give the project a shot. Heaven knows it might take me years to finish it anyway.
So today I sat down with a few highlighters and a pad of post-it notes. I said a prayer that I would know the things that Landon specifically would need to know. As I read, I was amazed at the specific instruction I was given to underline or write down.
I'm not sure when I'll give it to him--8? 12? 14? 19? Who knows. But I hope that he is able to get good use of "studying the scriptures" with me. And I hope that he somehow senses how important this book is to his mother. And I hope that he finds the truthfulness in the book that I have.
And I hope it brings him joy.
